Hello kids, boys and girls, and welcome to another exciting update. You'll have to excuse the recent lack of updates. Evan was supposed to write the President's Day update, but after numerous phonecalls I've been unable to contact him for over 48 hours now. I suppose by tomorrow in Religion I'll probably find out whether or not he's still alive.
Anyways, on to the topic at hand. Last night, Sunday night, at about 1:30 AM, I find myself hauling laundry up to the roof, because man, I really need some pants to wear for the next week of school. Yeah, so I do laundry at 1:30 AM, wanna fight about it? Anyways, the roof was dead, the laundry room was dead. I stick my stuff in a washer, put in the detergent, swipe my card, and mr. washer tells me it will be only 43 minutes till my dirty laundry is fresh and clean.
Excpet mr. washer lies. A lot. I know this, after all, I've lived in this building for a while now. I know 43 minutes means a bit over an hour. So yeah, 2:30, that sounds about right, I'll go back up at 2:30. Fine. Go back downstairs, cruise in my room, etc. 2:30 rolls by, I figure I want to go to bed as quickly as possible, so I should get my laundry done as quickly as possible. I go back up, and hey, what do you know, it's still not done yet.
There's still 7 minutes left. That really pisses me off, because, you know, it's just so much effort to get in the elevator and go back to my room for 7 minutes, especially just to come back up again. I mean, fellow UH Dormers can attest, sometimes putting your key into the slot to make the elevator work is a lot of effort, and I just wasn't prepared to make that kind of sacrifice for a washing machine.
So I decided to cruise around the roof. Yeah, not a lot going on in Manoa-ville at 2:30 on a monday morning, even though it was a 3 day weekend. Well not a lot visible from the roof of a tower, anyways.
I got to test out the awesome night mode of my phone's camera. Hells yeah! Look at that awesome picture. It's like, on the left hand side, you can kinda make out another one of the towers! And then like elsewhere...umm...lights?!!!! YEAH, LIGHTS! WOOT HELL YEAH FUCKIN LIGHTS!
Okay, so it's kind of cold outside. Best to go back inside. Laundry room. Wow, I'm the only one doing laundry at like, what is now 2:45 am. This is not too shocking. Oh wait, what's this, someone's left a pile of clothing here. This usually happens when the dryers are full (as they most certainly were earlier in the day), someone gets impatient while a persons done clothes just sit there, so they take it out, leave it in a pile on the counter, et cetera.
So this laundry has obviously been sitting here for a while. I become intensely interested in this laundry, because, you know, it's like 2:45 am. So interested, in fact, that I took a picture of it:
I still have a few minutes left on my wash (thanks a lot you lying machine), so I begin to contemplate the kind of person who leaves their laundry sitting up there for what will probably end up being the greater part of 24 hours. I speculate it's girls laundry, although I'm not sure. There were no obvious girly things like OMG PANTIES LOL or bras, although they could have just been hidden. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not the kind of creep who's going to go through someone else's laundry. No, I just take pictures of it and post about it on my website. Pretty normal if you ask me.
Who is this person? What are they like? I'm not interested in the actual clothing specifically, it's pretty nondescript, but just the actual fact that someone would abandon a bunch of their clothing for a while and leave it out for people to take pictures of and post about it on the internet. Especially if it is indeed a girl. Because, as Internet has taught me, all girls are sluts, and also apparently care a whole lot about clothing, so why would a slut, I mean girl, leave her valued clothing all alone and abandoned?
I came up with two theories. The first one essentially plays off the slut concept. I figure somewhere, this girl is probably drunk and getting it on with some guy she barely knows. It seems like that would probably make you forget about your laundry. I mean, I've never been a girl having nasty drunken sex before, but I'm sure it makes you forget about clothing for a little bit.
But man, that really bothers me. This person, if they're even a girl, doesn't deserve to be stereotyped as a slut. I mean, Internet isn't always right, is it? No way, can't be. So I start thinking of altenate theories.
This picture was the first one I tried to take, but ended up blurry. I figured I needed to add another picture though to keep you ADD children focused.
Alternate theories...hmm, maybe she's dead? Or being held prisoner somewhere? Probably dead though. I mean, really. Held prisoner, that's pretty unlikely. But people die all the time. So I start getting worried for this person. I mean, did they die of natural causes? Was it murder? That's terrible. Really, I feel sorry for this person, and for her clothing that will probably never be worn again. I'm almost moved to tears.
Washer stops. I realize that I'm contemplating fucking clothing. Put my stuff in the dryer, while deciding I should probably get some more sleep or take some medication or something.
She was probably just watching a movie or something and forgot.
Probably.
(p.s. if this laundry is yours please let me know so I can sleep at night not wondering if someone I know through laundry-proxy is dead.)
(p.p.s. especially contact me if the laundry is yours, you're asian, female, hot, and not dead)
2 Comments:
Hahaha another very very well though of piece hahaha. Your theories are fucking entertaining dude haha you are without a doubt the man with a million words haha.
By Anonymous, at 2/22/2005 02:11:50 AM
haha, hunterchan, haha. Like, HA HA.
Maybe the clothes belonged to someone's dog.
By bee, at 2/22/2005 10:40:36 AM
